What are we doing???

I saw a church sign that read something like this, "Always make sure your words are tasteful because you may have to eat them someday." Today is the day I eat my words. Stink! I said I would never have a blog of my own. To me, a blog has always felt like too much pressure. I have never wanted the pressure of having something read-worthy to say. I surely don't want the pressure of having a blog site that is visually appealing. (If you want this blog to look good, you'll probably have to step in and help!) Also, I have enough trouble keeping up with my existing relationships - I don't want to create a forum for keeping up with virtual relationships that I'll probably neglect like I do on Facebook. Anyway, despite all this pressure, we have one compelling reason to start our own blog.....we are adopting.

There's so much I want to say about adoption, so I'll have to try and unload my thoughts in a series of coherent blog posts. But for now one thing sticks out that is most relevant. God has called us to adopt and the primary means He used to make this a reality in our lives is others who have adopted. We have walked through the adoption process very closely with some and from a distance with others. But, every time God used those people to speak to us about adoption, saying to us - adoption is normal. It is not the most "typical" way people grow their family, but it is a normal way to grow a family. It is a beautiful way. We have two sons who are ours biologically. Now we will have a son or daughter who will come to us through adoption. Why? Because God has told us that this is His plan for our next child. It's really that simple.

So, that is the reason this blog exists. All of my reservations about blogging listed above are overcome by the hope that the thoughts we share about our adoption journey might be used by God to encourage others to adopt or support adoption in some way.

People are always asking us if we are excited to be adopting a new baby. Hmmm....The most honest answer right now would be no. I would say my emotions are more complicated than that at this point. We are definitely passionate about adoption. We are steadfast about our calling and sure in our decision. But, we are also very nervous and unsure about what to expect. We often say to each other, "What are we doing?" Right now this whole thing is very intangible. Sometimes we feel like we are crazy.

But then, there are times I experience a strong sense of anticipation and it all makes sense....when I think about our child's face. Of course I have no way of knowing what our child will look like, but sometimes I can see his or her face flash through my mind for an instant -then it's gone. So, I've decided that excitement is an emotion that isn't necessary in terms of motivation. All we need is faith, and God has given us that. That's why I decided to name our blog "Believing is Seeing."

Some of our close friends just brought their daughter home from Ethiopia. My friend wrote a blog post about seeing their baby girl for the first time entitled, "Faith becomes Sight." I'm planning to use that as the name of our post when we announce our baby's arrival. I keep an announcement of that baby girl's homecoming in my kitchen windowsill so I can remember that this process is very real. There is a child at the end of this process. My body isn't changing as we move toward the arrival of our son or daughter, but our faith is growing every day. And, someday that faith will become sight. Then, maybe I won't have to blog anymore! ; )