FAQ's - Why? Part 1

When I thought about starting a blog, this is the post I thought would come first. Actually, it will be a series of posts, so you'll have to stay tuned. In an effort to catch everyone up to speed, I want to answer the frequently asked questions about our adoption. I've learned that people are very willing to ask all kinds of questions when they learn that we are adopting, which is great because I love the opportunity to share.

Question #1 - Why?

The first answer that comes to my mind when I am asked this question is: "Because there are orphans." I hesitate to answer in that way, though, because I don't want to seem condescending, as if the person asking isn't aware. However, not too long ago I was unaware of the orphan crisis. There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and even more children who are fatherless and vulnerable. I say I was unaware of this crisis, but I'm sure I had heard the staggering numbers like everyone else has. And, my response was minimal precisely because the numbers are so staggering. When I hear of such a great need I tend to feel paralyzed.

There is an awesome Sara Groves song called, "The Long Defeat," in which she tells the story of a physician who served in an area where the poverty and sickness was devastating. Because he was among the people there, he was sure to die along with them. And eventually, he did.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I have joined the long defeat

that falling set in motion

all my strength and energy

are raindrops in the ocean

so conditioned for the win

to share in victor's stories

but in the place of ambition's din

I've heard of other glories

I pray for an idea

and a way I cannot see

It's too heavy to carry

and impossible to leave

I can't just fight when I think I'll win

that's the end of all belief

and nothing has provoked it more

than a possible defeat

This, I think, is the right response to the overwhelming nature of the orphan crisis. Our family alone cannot turn the whole thing around. But, we also cannot abstain from it. We have the choice whether or not to engage in the crisis - the orphans do not. They are in it. A friend of mine said, "Not everyone is called to adopt, but every Christian is called to care about it."

Some are motivated by thinking that even though we cannot take care of every one of the 147 million orphans, every little bit counts. That is true and it is motivating. It makes all the difference in the life of that one child who is adopted. But, what really motivates me is this question - Am I in or am I out? I don't decide whether or not to respond based on how effective my response will be. I base my response on the need - either I will respond or ignore the need, and scripture clearly mandates that Christians care for orphans in some way. The question then changes from "Will I respond?" to "How will I respond?"

Just imagine what a difference it will make if this generation of kids thinks that adoption is normal. When many of them grow up with siblings or close friends who were adopted. They won't have to decide whether or not adoption is on their radar...it already will be. One little boy, whose sister was recently adopted from Ethopia, was confused when he learned that a new car could cost $30,000. He said to his mom, "Why would someone buy a new car when they could use that money to adopt instead?" That's powerful.

When I was unaware of the orphan crisis, I wasn't unaware that the problems exists....I was unaware of the orphans THEMSELVES. Here's what has changed for me.....I know a little girl who was adopted from China. As a newborn she was left in a bucket to die until someone found her and took her to an orphanage. When I met this little girl she was energetic and had a huge smile! Now she's just a regular kid.....We walked through the adoption process with some close friends of ours. Their little boy now comes and plays in my backyard almost every day - he is like a little brother to my boys.....I went to visit my college friend when her baby girl came home from Ethopia, just as I had when her biological children were born. When I held that baby I couldn't help but think about what her life had been like just two weeks before when she was one of many children in an orphanage. These are precious children and the experience of knowing them makes the orphan crisis real to me.

And, since you are on this journey with us, the orphan crisis has already become more real to you. When you celebrate the arrival of our baby with us, your "awareness" of the orphan crisis will be markedly different - it will be about a child instead of a number. Adoption is not some intangible social crisis when you personally know a child who is adopted. You see God's plan unfold before your eyes and it no longer makes sense to ask "why" when someone says they are adopting. The answer is obvious - because there are still orphans.