I have recently observed in myself that I either think obsessively about the adoption or don't think about it at all. Sometimes it's just too difficult to anticipate every time the phone rings (literally, every time) that it might be the adoption agency calling, so I just block it out. The trick with this adoption thing is to learn to be comfortable being suspended in mid air, so to speak.
So, lately I have been going into the baby's room, sitting in the rocking chair and praying for the baby, the birth mom, and the adoption process. It helps me remember that this process is real. This baby is real. I walk over to the dresser where we have a boy and a girl coming home outfit and wonder who we will bring home. Then, I leave the room.
I only stay a few minutes. It's just a quick little way of connecting to this unknown child. And, it is sort of my little way of submitting to God in this waiting season. It's nothing profound, really, but it helps.
But for now I rest in this in between
In the heavy clouds of this waiting season
Sandra McCracken, "Hidden Place"
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